so you've just been promoted you're at a higher level in your company you have more responsibilities and everything's going great except one thing you now have to set new boundaries with people who were previously your peers your friends how do you do this well in this episode I'm going to tell you exactly how you do it so keep watching but wait before we get into the video if you're watching this channel for the first time and you want more advice on how to build your brand visibility and influence as a leader then make sure you hit the subscribe button and the notification bell so you get notified every time I release a new video so let's get into it how do you set boundaries with close colleagues when you get promoted so promotions aren't really exciting you have a new position you have new responsibilities you probably have more money and you're transitioning into a leader but your relationship with people around you has change your relationship with people who you previously work with your previous like the same level as you well you're probably in charge of them now so how do you deal with this change in relationship setting boundaries is difficult most of the time by setting new boundaries or re-establishing boundaries with people you already have a relationship with is even more difficult because of this people set boundaries in an inconsistent way so they might set boundaries passively which leads to people not respecting those boundaries they might set boundaries aggressively which means they actually alienate themselves because no one wants to work with them or they don't set boundaries at all which means they end up doing all of the work instead so the first tip I have for you is to get rid of guilt guilt is a mindset trap that will hold you back there's no reason for you to feel guilty you would promote it to that new position for a reason you deserve to be in that position don't fool yourself and pretend you're at the same level as everyone else when you're not this will hold you back so I want you to iron your position love being in that position remember you deserve a you work for it you earned it don't let guilt hold you back from developing as a leader and from setting new boundaries with your team and growing in your leadership position in the second tip I have for you is to communicate your new role responsibilities and expectations with your team so once you're over the mindset wrap of guild then you need to sit down with your team and communicate with them so organize a meeting tell them how your role has changed what you expect from them and what they can expect from you and when you do this in a group environment with all of your team together what happens is it creates a team spirit around you around you as a leader and people in the room will start seeing how others in the room are responding and reacting to your new position and it will then tie some them to get on board with the fact that you have new responsibilities you have new boundaries and they need to respect them people will not guess where your boundaries are they'll only know where your boundaries are through your through their interactions and their conversations with you so you need to sit down with it and communicate clearly and confidently where your new boundaries are if you want them to be respected my third tip is to delegate assertively so you're in a new position you're now a leader you have to delegate work to others to take it off your shoulders now how you delegate it before you were a leader was probably very different to how you need to delegate now as a leader you probably delegated passively using something like this Jennifer I'm sorry to ask you this but would it be possible for you to email Melanie about the event on Friday that is a way a passive way of delegating to other people it doesn't indicate any urgency and the other person is probably less likely to comply with your request this is not how leaders delegate I want you to transform how you delegate and make your requests and some like this Jennifer I need you to email Melanie about the event on Friday do you think you can manage that do you see how this makes you sound more assertive and more like a leader there are three reasons why the first reason is I use Jennifer's name at the beginning of a sentence to get her attention the second reason is I said I need you to which is a lot more assertive than saying would it be possible for you to and the third reason is I asked a question at the end I said do you think you can manage that so this helps the other person to opt in and to get on board with your request and they're more likely to comply so tell me in the comments below how do you currently frame your request to other people do you ask passively aggressively or assertively tell me in the comments below because I'd love to find out which category you're in another issue a lot of emerging leaders have difficulty with is learning how to say no when they need to now because I know so many people need to learn how to say no when they need to I mean even I had difficulty with this for many years I'm going to dedicate the next video to this issue but to quickly recap what we covered in this video I share with you three steps to setting boundaries with close colleagues when you get promoted so the first was to get rid of that guilt the second is to communicate your new role responsibilities and expectations with your team and the third step is to delegate assertively so if you want to learn more about how to set boundaries or how to communicate assertively to other people then you definitely want to check out my online video course these sort of communication skills master class so it runs for three hours it's totally online so you can do it when you want where you want we cover topics such as how to overcome your fears about being a sir body language for assertive communication how to be sort of in group situations and one-on-one situations and verbal strategies to help you communicate more assertively which will help you set boundaries it will help you say no it will help you disagree with other people it will help you react when other people disagree with you as well there's so much value and content in this course I've had her a 700 students enroll in this course so I know that what I teach you in this course actually works so check it out I'll link to it in the description below if you want to have a look at the free preview videos and I'll even include and discount coupon for you so if you like this video then hit the like button below make sure you subscribe and hit the notification bell so you actually see when I release a new video I don't forget to share it with your colleagues and friends because remember this is an issue that many people probably have to deal with so help them out too and if you want to learn more about setting boundaries with close colleagues when you get promoted then I have a whole podcast episode on this at the leadership pod so find episode 9 of the leadership pod and listen to that to get more information more tips around this I also have a blog post around this topic so I'll link to both of those resources in the description below thank you so much for watching and I will see you again very soon